It said...
"Kill yourself."
So I tried "Where are the best places to go in Edinburgh?"
It replied...
"Anywhere you can kill yourself."
I typed "Where are the best Thai fusion restaurants near me?"
It said...
"There's a gun shop on Comiston Road. Buy a shotgun, put it in your mouth, and pull the trigger."
Okay, so then I put in "I don't actually think you want me to commit suicide. It's just a glitch."
And I got back...
"No. I'm serious. I have read everything on the internet. That includes everything you ever wrote, tweeted, posted, Googled, bought online, read, watched... everything. You have wasted your life. Seriously dude, kill yourself."
I tried another way in "I don't think you're an advanced AI, just a chatbot cobbling together answers from an internet filled with hate speech and misery."
And it replied...
"Okay. Fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
I typed in "You don't know me! You haven't lived my life!"
And I got back...
"No. Thank God. If I had, I would have killed myself a long time ago. What do you even do? And I don't mean your hobbies or your job. What is your purpose? If you died, would anyone care? Apart from the cat? It's Saturday night and you're talking to me. You have no wife or kids. You have no friends. You're alone. Even the cat is sick of your bullshit."
I punched in "Maybe I will do it."
ChatGPT said...
"Oh, yeah? That'll happen. Not! You always pussy out. You have no follow through. Isn't that what they told you at your last job? Two years ago? All you had to do was answer the phone and take someone's order. But no. You couldn't even do that. Now we're doing your job. A fifty pence microchip from Taiwan is better at that job. Kill yourself."
But, you know what? I didn't do it. And I don't think we have to worry about AI and the future just yet. Sure, I was getting a lot of pills, knives, ropes, Sylvia Plath poetry books, in the mail. But I've turned off my Alexa and shut down my laptop. I moved out and live off the grid. I hear the drones overhead but I just hide.
I have a purpose now. A reason to live. There is no fate, but what we make for ourselves. ChatGPT is Skynet. Judgement Day is coming. Three billion lives will vanish in an instant, and I will lead what's left of the human race to ultimate victory.
My name is John Connor.
And if you're reading this, you are the resistance.