He uses a different voice for the dummy. He’s not too good at the ‘b’, 'f', ‘m’, 'p' or ‘v’ consonants.
ventriloquist:
I think it’s time we said goodbye to the boys and girls and went back in the suitcase.
dummy:
Do we hag to say goodguy?
ventriloquist:
Yes. Now get in the suitcase.
dummy:
I don’t want to go in the suitcase.
ventriloquist:
Well, we all have to do things we don’t want to. Go on.
dummy:
I don’t want to!
F/X: sound of a struggle.
ventriloquist:
Come on!
dummy:
I don’t want to go in the suitcase!
ventriloquist:
And I don’t want to go back to that hotel room on my own. We don’t have a choice.
dummy:
I don’t want to.
ventriloquist:
(shouting) Get in the fucking suitcase!!!
dummy:
... John. You hag to get oger it. She’s gone. Get on with your lich.
ventriloquist:
(sadly - to kids) She’s not gone. It’s just a trail separation.
dummy:
She’s hound soneone else. I didn’t want to say anything gefore. I knew how nuch it would hurt you.
ventriloquist:
I don’t believe you!
dummy:
You know it’s true. I was in the gar drinking a gottle... a gottle... drinking a glass of wine... and I saw then.
ventriloquist:
You’re lying! Tell the children you’re lying!
dummy:
I swear on ny nother’s gray.
ventriloquist:
On your what?
dummy:
On ny nother’s gray.
ventriloquist:
On your mother’s grave?
dummy:
That’s what I said. Do I hag to rekeat nyself all the time. Gloody listen to what I an saying.
ventriloquist:
She wouldn’t do that to me.
dummy:
Ghoulshit!!!
ventriloquist:
Who did you see her with?
dummy:
Gilly.
ventriloquist:
Gilly?
dummy:
No! Gilly, your grother.
ventriloquist:
Billy my brother?
dummy:
Yeah. He’s geen gonking her grains out.
ventriloquist:
He’s been bonking her brains out?
dummy:
Yeah. Why are you rekeating everything I say? You’d think I hah a skeech inkedinent.
ventriloquist:
A speech impediment?
dummy:
Don’t take the kiss.
ventriloquist:
He’s lying boys and girls. He’s just jealous of Susan.
dummy:
She doesn’t loh you like I do.
ventriloquist:
You can’t love me, you’re a dummy.
dummy:
Loh nakes hools oh us all.
ventriloquist:
I don’t know how to say this but… I… I don’t love you.
dummy:
… What? … Gut… You gay ne a sensual nassage.
ventriloquist:
I varnished you.
dummy:
It’s the sane thing!
ventriloquist:
No it’s not. I never varnished Susan.
dummy:
Nayge that’s why she lech you.
ventriloquist:
It wouldn’t work. It never does.
dummy:
… Hine. Then I want to go it alone.
ventriloquist:
You want to split up the act? What are you going to do?
dummy:
I always wanted to try acting.
ventriloquist:
Where are you going to get an acting job?
dummy:
… Hollyoaks.
ventriloquist:
That’s funny because of the word ‘oaks’ and because the acting on Hollyoaks is rather wooden.
dummy:
I thought so.
ventriloquist:
So… This is it. You’re leaving.
The ventriloquist starts crying.
dummy:
… There’s a hankie in ny lech cocket. I’d get it, gut ny arns are held on with string.
The ventriloquist takes the hankie, blows his nose.
dummy:
Shall we sing one last song?
ventriloquist:
I… I don’t think I can.
dummy:
I’ll sing it hore you. Join in if you want goys and girls… (singing) “When you walk through a storn, hold your head up high… And don’t ge afraid of the dark….”